The Weight of Expectation

For a hilarious blog on this topic, check out https://theidentitythieves.wordpress.com/2016/07/24/what-happens-to-a-parents-heart-rate-on-a-day-out-with-kids/, for a more meandering, inconclusive musing, read on. I’m not sure if I’m alone, but I genuinely expect each chosen experience to be fun, every time. I have faith in our decisions. But all too often, I’m knocked off that precarious pedestal. Take today, trio out into the garden because ‘we haven’t been outside yet today, have we Mummy?’ (we went to ballet, but I take the point). I expect – general exploring of still alive plants, playing in playhouse and with ball – nothing too lofty. I get – insistence on getting bikes out, ridden for one width of garden (approximately 6 flagstones, then abandoned. Find multiple mushroom type things growing in rubber play material specifically designed to inhibit plant growth. Google ‘poisonous mushrooms garden uk’. Discover toddler capable of turning tap on to fill thimble sized watering can, but not off. Water quickly flooding the patio as baby keeps sitting and kneeling down in it, then clambering back up steps to house. I pick her up as toddler is (against my insistent advice to the contrary) trying to haul both bikes up the, now very slippery, steps. Decide to give it up as a bad job, only for some intense sobbing (on nearly all our parts)to mark the end of this sorry affair. I don’t know why I’m surprised, this happens literally several times a week.

However, ‘pizza whirls’ went down a storm (perhaps unsurprisingly given the clever marketing in their name) even though they contained both onion and mushroom. Sheet of puff pastry. Topped with tomato puree, relevant herbs (think I had thyme), onion and mushroom diced toddler small, ham shredded, cheese grated and then rolled widthways so it is a long sausage. Cut into slices and arrange on baking tray, brush with egg and bake for 15-20mins. Toddler started out by saying ‘I wish I had a sandwich’, but then changed her review to ‘yummy’. Perhaps she has the right idea, expect to be disappointed and you might be surprised.

Also credit to Ana for these little circles of loveliness!

Control

I have no control of my own life anymore. Our kitchen has been taken over by some robot radio overlord who insists on assumptively playing me music she ‘thinks I’ll like’ and will only play things at two volumes – silent disco or club night. I appear to have zero control over feral children – ‘why are you wearing pyjamas again, it’s 12 o’clock?’, ‘stop dragging your sister around by her dress, she’s CRYING’, ‘I repeat, I will not allow you to ride on the reindeer now, it’s sleeping time’ etc etc ad nauseam; and it appears I don’t even have control over my own online shopping – Sainsbury’s having apparently decided ‘new year, new me’ and sent me sweet potatoes instead of baking potatoes. I didn’t notice because the stranger standing in my kitchen at 10pm on a Friday while we unpacked the crates together was a bit awkwardly intimate and I just wanted him out of there. So it was baked sweet potato for tea, with beans because I’m past caring.

Cooked one big potato in microwave for 6 mins, cheese and beans on top. I did make tomato soup for lunch which was nice – chopped onion and celery in pan, would have done carrot too and potato but didn’t have any (see above). Tin of chopped tomatoes and passata with veg stock with little bit of sugar. Cook for a little bit. Blend with some cream cheese. Served with dipping toast, watch toddler pick out any bits that aren’t totally blended, sigh.